Joined May 8 2014
41 years old
All of my winding paths have led me here to the Academy.
I had a strong interest in Norse Runes starting at age 13. Later in high school and college, I got into Native American Shamanism. Mush later on I tried to get into Wicca, but it just never stuck. What did stick was my desire to learn more about Witchcraft.
I took my Probationer's Oath for the A.'.A.'. under Frater 939 on the Autumn Equinox 2012. That lasted about 8 months. Again, it just didn't stick. Something just didn't feel right. I didn't like having a "master" to report to. The whole thing felt forced and inauthentic. Although, I did take some valuable tidbits with me, such as the power in performing the Star Ruby by memory. While I respect the Order, it just isn't for me. I ended my magical affiliation with them in April 2013.
I majored in Depth Psychology in my undergrad, so Campbell and Jung are old friends of mine. A reread will do my some good. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Power of Myth is required text. I've been secretly wanting to find a place to study this material again for the past 15 years.
I later earned my MSEd in Higher Education Administration to go along with my 13 year career in student financial aid. I knew everyday for those 13 years that I was miserable. After I nearly destroyed my physical and mental health trying to live an inauthentic life, I finally reached a point this past November 2013 when I was able to quit my job. I bought a house, quit my job and started a new masters program in creativity studies all in the same month. I took that leap. It was one of the scariest and most exhilarating times of my life. I broke free from the Matrix. (My former boss is also head pastor of a prominent African American Baptist church, and his constant references to Christ and the Bible always pissed me off.) But now I am still trying to make sense of life, still trying to shake free of the old brain washings that my former life provided. In some ways, I feel like my skin was ripped off and I am slowly healing; tender in some spots still, but gaining strength on a daily basis.
My new life has afforded me the time to put a lot more energy into my once hobby business. I work hard on my schoolwork and I spend a lot of time developing my business, but sometimes I still feel I am stuck in that work-way-too-hard-for-little-return life that I just left. So, I am working on that, adding "destress" activities to my schedule.
This past winter I was obsessed with money magic and the law of attraction. But this interest was based on fear of not having a steady paycheck. I tried spells and other techniques, nothing really panned out. Then I started looking to my heritage and my ancestors for guidance. I've always been closely tied to the Germanic gods in one way or another, but never truly believing in them. I felt that if they do exist, that's nice, but I cannot subscribe to the mindset of asking them for help. I see them more as archetypes. The one that has been strongly with me for about a year now is Frey, the horned god, similar to the Celtic Cernunos. (In fact, I've always leaned toward a male "god" that I felt was a part of me. And this male energy seemed to always be bold, bright, warm and sunny. For a brief period of time some years ago when I tried out Wicca, I thought my "patron god" was the Egyptian Falcon-headed God, Horus the Elder.) So recently I started looking into the Old Ways of the Norse people and I was about to embark on a study of Neolithic Shamanism (which requires the absolute belief in the Norse Gods) when I found the Academy.
Or the Academy found me.
And, sure, I have that sense of "coming home" that is typically present at the cusp of a new magical journey. But this time it is different. I realize now that my magic was strongest when I did not involve deities. The deity worship weakened me. I was most powerful when I relied on my own instincts and drew power from that male force that seemed to be in front of me, behind me, on my right side, on my left side and in me all at once. Never knowing what that was, I tried to convince myself it was some form of a god. But now it feels more like my familiar, now that I know what a familiar is. My familiar is not my cat.
So, a formal study of Authentic Witchcraft is exactly what I need.